Showing posts with label spiritual reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spiritual reflection. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Sometimes I Wish Life Gave the Option for a "Fade In/Out" Transition

I haven't posted since Christmas, and I don't even know if anyone really read this while I was posting during last semester. But I'm posting again now, just as a recap of what's been happening since then, just in case people do read this and wonder if I'm still alive or if the tumbleweeds have gotten the best of me.
My first semester back in Abilene has been so hard. Of course there have been easy things, like doing the schoolwork and seeing Oxford friends, but hanging out with my old friends has been a strange, difficult, and stretching experience. I don't feel like we click anymore, and even though I love them to death, I feel so uncomfortable around them sometimes. It's gotten easier as the semester's worn on, since we've been building back up our relationships, but it's completely different than last year. I knew it wasn't going to be the same, but I had no idea it would be this hard. I'm trying to decide if I'm supposed to try to rekindle the good friendships I had or just leave them be, although it's a little more comlicated than that.
God has been testing me to see if I really desire Him the most. Out of anything. I want to honestly be able to say, like David, "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you" (Psalm 73:25). He has been showing me how high and wide and deep and long His love is, and I am learning to accept it. It's kind of hard, though, when I'm wanting my old friends back so much.
So, along with all this emotional stuff, my semester has also been awesome. I changed my major to Social Work and I am so glad God led me to it. I'm loving my classes and my professors and I'm really excited for next semester already. I've also started helping out with the 1st through 6th graders at my church here, Beltway Park. I go on Wednesday nights for "Wednesday Warriors" and pretty much just help out with games and small group activities. I love it and have been reminded how much I love kids. I always come home encouraged and feeling like I've seen a side of God I hadn't seen in quite some time.
Probably the most exciting thing about this semester is something that hasn't even happened yet. I am going to be interning with Dry Bones this summer in Denver, Colorado. I went on a Spring Break campaign with them last year and loved it, which is pretty much why I applied. Simply put, I will be hanging out with the homeless youth in downtown Denver and also church youth groups that come to hang out with them as well. I am incredibly excited, but am trying to stay in the present.
Alright, well I don't know if I'm going to keep posting here. I suppose I should, since this post was rather dreary. I really only wanted this blog to talk about my semester abroad, so I might make a new one for everyday things. Perhaps. I'll let you know if I do.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Wondering Where Home is Now

I can't believe I've been home for two weeks and a day and I still feel like I can walk out the door and down the street into town, central Oxford. It's ridiculous how fast the time has gone, from the moment I entered the Study Abroad meeting during Passport before college started until this moment, Christmas night, after the semester is all said and done. I really miss Oxford and my friends there, but I think because it's more within my reach I miss Abilene and my friends there more. I'm really excited to go back (January 10th!) and room with Rebekah again. That'll be such a blast! :)

Cornmarket at night near Christmas

Quick update on the last week of Oxford:
- Thursday, December 4th: last cell group, last Risky. Cell was sad, but good. I'm so glad I got a chance to meet those people; they love the Lord so much and are so intent on spreading His word and love. I got a photo of all of us. Risky was good too and afterwards the usual group (me, Anne, Colin, and Ed) went to G&Ds and hung out. I got really sad that it was the last time we were seeing both of them! But fortunately I got a photo of all of us and I can see Anne at school in a few weeks.
- Friday, December 5th: We went to Hyde Park in London to see the Christmas lights and festivities. Then we saw the musical Wicked. It was SO GOOD. It had really cool sets and costumes, the songs were great, the performers were amazing, and it was hilarious!
- Saturday, December 6th: I further explored Oxford with Anne and Rebekah. I had never walked through Jericho just for the the heck of it, except to get to Port Meadow, but I'm glad I finally did; it's really neat. I did a bunch of Christmas shopping too. We ate lunch at this place on Broad Street called Cafe Creme ('tis fabulous).
- Sunday, December 7th: We went to St. Aldate's for the last time and it ended up being the children's Christmas play! It was so cute and it was great that we saw it because we thought we were going to miss it for sure.
- Monday, December 8th: That evening, we got all nice and went to dinner with the whole group at Freud's Cafe. Then some of us were going to go to The Bridge to hang out, but there was something going on and most of us didn't want to wait to figure it out, so we left and went to G&Ds. Then Anne and I parted from that group to go to club outreach, which was fun and kind of sad. I got a picture of our usual team (me, Turlough, Pete, Anne, and Gary) at the end, and I'm so glad because I can now cherish it forever!
- Tuesday, December 9th: I went to lunch with Turlough, Anne, and Pete at the Gourmet Burger Kitchen and to Ben's Cookies afterwards. We were so glad to be able to hang out with them one last time. I'm missing them so much!! At least I'll get to see Anne in a couple weeks though, haha.

I'm gonna miss crazy British signs like this

So...
I really feel like this semester I've gained a lot of confidence, not only in navigating through places I've never been but also in evangelism and speaking about the Lord. Club outreach definitely helped with that (because it was experience) but so did my cell group. Something that Tom, one of my cell group leaders, said one time has stuck with me ever since he said it. It was regarding Matthew 28:19 ("... go and make disciples..."). Usually when we think of this we think of an intentional mission, a purposeful movement out of ourselves to speak about Jesus, specifically. He put a new spin on it: "In your going, make disciples." As you live, with everything you do and say, always be thinking about spreading the Word and be intent on that as you live your daily life doing daily things, no matter what they are. Kind of like that St. Francis of Assisi quote, "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words," but I like the Matthew paraphrase better. :)

Under the top bunk in our room

I'm a little nervous about returning back to Abilene. I've missed meeting most of the new freshmen and anyone else that may have arrived at lovely ACU, I've developed new relationships, I've not kept up old ones like I should have, and I'm not sure how things are going socially there. I feel like everything is going to be so different and I'm just hoping I can cope with it alright. I'm scared that good friends that I had last year will no longer be good friends and that where I'll want to be is not going to be possible.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Confession

The Christmas season has hit Oxford hard, and along with it, all these feelings of home. I associate Christmas with home, and this time around, with the city streets decked out in lights, I'm realizing that home to me is wherever loved ones are. I have friends in Oxford, even though they don't live in Oxford; I have friends in Abilene, even though they don't live in Abilene; I have friends in Escondido. I'm really very grateful for anyone who has ever been my friend, because I don't deserve it. Today I had a breakdown and my heart started beating really fast and I thought I was going to throw up in the middle of class (so I just got up and left) because I was thinking about leaving another set of friends I just made in another city (yet again). I seem to always make friends in places where I have to up and leave. Why??? It is so frustrating. Why do I keep making friends, if only to leave them? Then I got to thinking how I make friends and then expect something from them, and that's not how I want to be a friend to anyone else. I realized that I haven't, for a very long time, looked at someone and wanted to truly bless them with no regard to myself. I've been very selfish this semester and I'm sorry for those I've hurt. I love you in my mind but I want to love you with my heart and my life. Please forgive me.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

And Now, For A Limited Time Only...

Parks Road a few weeks ago when the trees still had leaves


I only have six weeks left in Oxford. Well, less than six weeks, because we still have two travel breaks left. This makes me really sad. I don't know how else to say it. I feel like it's all coming to an end just as I'm starting to understand some things about English culture. I feel like all the effort I've made to plunge into it will ultimately come to nothing because I'm leaving. I guess just looking at the end of things has always saddened me (e.g. leaving Abilene at the end of last year). It's just so frustrating because this, too, now feels like home. I'm being torn in three directions and I don't know where to turn. I've got family in each place. But suppose that's a good thing? Maybe this isn't supposed to be painful. Maybe God wants me to see how big He is, how central Christ is to my life. After all, Jesus is the reason for my families. Family. Singular. And to think... I have family celebrating Him along with me, all the way to the ends of the earth... and more and more keep joining the party, even as I type...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Immeasurably More

I sit here in the classroom at 3:30 AM on a freezing Tuesday morning with severe coffee jitters, completely amazed by our Father God, gratefully reflecting on the situation in which I currently find myself. I realize that Jesus has blessed me with people who are on fire for Him, inside and outside of this house. Tonight I helped out with St Aldates' club outreach again and, even though it's only the second time I've done it, I feel like God is helping me to be more open about my faith. This is the most evangelistic thing I've ever been a part of. If we can even give others a glimpse of the love that God gives by giving our free water bottles or tea or coffee or biscuits or conversations or hugs or high fives or whatever, if we can even plant the tiniest seed, if we can even be thin enough to allow God to show through us, to allow His glory, kindness, love, and life to flow from our fingertips and our lips, then I say: all praise be to Him who by His strength we give.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Part 3: Edinburgh, Scotland [cont'd]

And the saga continues...



Saturday, Sept
ember 20, 2008

This is definitely Scotland.

This morning we got up at 8 AM and got ready and went to the dining hall for breakfast. Toast, cereal & milk, tea/juice/coffee, just like at the Dublin hostel. Then we checked out and hopped on the 9:44 city bus to the city. We were the only ones on the top level (most city buses there I think are double deckers) so I busted out my phone and we listened to a few Chris Tomlin songs. Once at city centre, we headed to the National Gallery of Scotland. IT was free (at least, everything except the Impressionism Exhibition was). In the first area we explored, there were a lot of drawings, some paintings and photographs. There was this one photo that was actually like 40 slivers of photographs put together, because it was a scene that was photographed over a period of a year and each slice was taken at the same time of day and month so that it looked like the scene was actually vertical chunks with different season. It was called "Rhythm of the Twelvemonth" and it was by Stephen Lawson. I loved it! First of all, it was an amazing idea. Secondly, it was well done. Lastly, the scene itself was beautiful... Clouds, trees, hills. After this are we went to a higher floor that had many rooms of just paintings and sculptures. It took quite a while to get through it all, but it was worth it. There was this gorgeous oil painting (most of them were oil) of a boy in the dark blowing on a piece of lit coal. It looked so real because the boy was in darkness but you could make out his outline, and also the burning coal in front of him lit up his face with a brilliant glow, a warm and bright orange-yellow. Another one of my favorites was of the Last Supper. Jesus and eleven of the disciples were in a circle, sitting or lying down, and Judas was walking out of the room with his front in the darkness. Everyone besides him just looked so comfortable to be with Jesus... It was just really beautiful and I think it was an interesting interpretation of that event. Everyone looked like each other's best friend. I think Jesus wants us to feel that intimate with Him and with each other as a church.

The Royal Mile


The door to the toilet... obviously

Next we walked along the Royal Mile and turns out there are a lot of tourist shops on this street. We arranged a meeting place for 1:30, which was just half an hour (not everyone wanted to look at the same places). Once we'd met back up, we went down some stairs into this little cafe. There was only one lady working there and the ground floor was full (well, there were only about 6 seats in there anyway) so we went upstairs, which was where the toilet was. I only mention this because the door to it was really neat... It had the word "toilet" painted on it in like 15 different languages and colors. The place where we ate was just a little coffee table and a couch and loveseat... This upstairs portion of the cafe was actually part of another shop, we think, because behind one of the couches was a big piece of fabric and we could hear music and people from behind it. I ate a panini with cheese and tomato and a light salad. While we were waiting for our food, David played this game with us that he read about in the Encyclopedia of Immaturity (it was randomly in the National Gallery gift shop). I don't think the game ended up like it was supposed to, haha. Well, we were in a cute little place to rest. We paid downstairs, and by the counter they had a fridge with drinks in it. I saw this can of something I'd seen a couple other places in Scotland called IRN-BRU... I thought it was some kind of beer or alcoholic drink, but I was curious, so I picked it up and read the ingredients. It was just some kind of soda! The can said that it was an original Scottish drink, and I asked the lady at the counter what she thought of it and she'd never actually tried it but said that people were crazy about it there and that it wasn't available anywhere else (but much to my delight, I've found it several places in Oxford... It's becoming more popular). I just had to try it! OF COURSE. I was so excited. I popped it open, and this orange scent came wafting out, so I thought it was going to be like orange soda back home. I took a drink, and it was more like one of those orange Smarties candies, the ones rolled in the plastic... SO GOOD. I loved it and was so glad I had gotten it.

Silly Scottie

Just part of the big "hill" once we got to a higher vantage point

We kept moving on down the Royal Mile towards the palace. On the way, we noticed a couple of Christmas shops (weird). In a window of a whisky shop there was a little Scottie dog, just sitting there watching everyone pass by on the street. We saw a fudge shop called Jim Garrahy's Fudge Kitchen that had a sign over the door advertising free samples. We went in ad tried the German chocolate swirl and it was really good. It was like vanilla and chocolate together. I thought it was kind of strange that there was even such a thing as vanilla-flavored fudge. We got there right before the man in the back came out with a fresh, warm sample of the double chocolate fudge, which was even better. We decided to all chip in and buy a hunk of the first kind to share. Then we continued down the street. We passed Scottish Parliament (the new one). It was a really modern-looking building, which was in such contrast to most of the other buildings in town. We could see this huge, HUGE hill/plateau just a few hundred yards down the road that Parliament was on, but we couldn't go climb it because we weren't sure we'd have enough time to do that and also see the memorial up on the hill before we needed to catch the bus to the airport (much to David's disappointment). Okay, well, it turns out that you had to pay to get into the palace, and we didn't feel like dishing out any more money, so we just walked on and looked for the way to get up to the monuments. These were the pillars we saw off in the distance when we were up at the castle. We found a path that led up and Holly was sure it'd get us there sooner or later, and we grudgingly ascended after her. We ran into some people walking down and they said we were going the right way. So we walked up and up... We got great views of the big green hill and that side of the city, constantly changing since we kept getting higher and higher. We eventually reached the top. It wasn't all that high but it was probably the highest we'd been since the castle, and plus, this offered a 360-degree view. There was the pillar monument, which we never found out its purpose while we were there. Google informs me, however, that it was supposed to be a memorial to the Scots who died in the Napoleonic Wars, but it was never finished because many who promised to help fund it did not pay. It's called the National Monument, by the way, and this hill we were on was Calton Hill. Another monument was the Nelson Monument, which is the shape of an upturned telescope. The city observatory was also up there but it was closed for refurnishing. The other monument was the Dugald Stewart Monument; Stewart was a Scottish philosopher. We stayed up there for a little over an hour, just taking photos, talking, and resting. Then we wanted to go see St. Mary's Cathedral (or what we thought was St. Mary's) because it looked cool from up there where we were, so we walked down into the city. We were in the "New Town" part for the first time, and there was this huge, ugly black "monstrosity" (as Holly put it) of a shopping mall that we walked by. We got to St. Mary's, but it was not the cool building we thought it was. Christ went across the street to check out what the cool building was. It turned out to be some other cathedral, like St. Peter-St. Paul Cathedral or something. While he'd been gone, we were all just sitting on St. Mary's steps, and down to our right just on the sidewalk was a small group of adults, and two of the guys appeared to be in an argument. I'm pretty sure they were drunk. But there was this woman between them trying to prevent them from punching each other. We couldn't really tell whether they were serious of not, but as soon as Chris came back we left. As we were walking I took pictures of the cigarette boxes people had littered on the ground, because there were very large, varied, and blunt warnings about the harmful effects of smoking. I love how they're so honest, but it's sad that so many people still do it. At this point we didn't really have anything else in mind to do and it was only a little after 5, and we only had to catch the bus around 7 to be at the airport at a good time. So we just kind of wandered downtown. We thought we might stop by the Edinburgh Dungeon because just the name itself sounds cool .well, we walked into this place we thought was it and it seemed just like a cheesy goth gift shop. We found out that the whole big deal was just a silly ride and that the last one was at 5 anyway. We walked toward the other part of downtown to see what this one tower memorial was. It wasn't really that interesting. Mary got coffee, and then we had nothing to do.

The National Monument at the top of Calton Hill

Just hanging out and resting

We simply walked to the bridge where our bus was going to pick us up. We'd bought open return tickets when we rode into the city so we were able to go on any of the buses, and they came really often, like less than 10 minutes apart. There was one when we got there but we decided to just wait for the next one so we wouldn't have to rush on. The next one came about 2 minutes later. We got on, said goodbye to the city. At the airport we decided to eat after security, since it seemed that at the Dublin and Gatwick airports there were better options afterward. We asked a shopkeeper if there were any restaurants after security, to be sure, and they said yes. So we went through. To our dismay, there was actually only a bar and a Costa Coffee. At least the Costa Coffee had cafe sandwiches. And... IRN-BRU!!! That made up for the lack of restaurants, in my eyes anyway. So we ate. We saw on the screen before we even checked in that our flight was delayed half an hour, which would give us 10 minutes from the time it landed to the time our bus left for Oxford. Well, it got delayed even more. We most certainly weren't going to catch our bus, and we thought the next one was at 3 AM... So we were pretty bummed, but at least our tickets would still be good because they were valid 24 hours after the return departure time. Well, while we were waiting in the airport before the flight, David and Chris got into this debate involving movies, music, lyrics, and relationships. It continued on the plane, as far as I could tell. Mary, Holly, and I just talked about guys, TV, and health. I saw on the TV that was playing that there were bombings in Pakistan. Once the plane arrived, we got on. The pilot explained the reason for the delay, but all I can remember about it is that the plane that was supposed to have flown us wasn't able to for some reason, so this plane came even though it was supposed to be in Barcelona. The free magazine in the pocket in front of us was pretty interesting, since it had a lot about cities in Greece, and I'm going there for Thanksgiving break. I sat by Mary and we talked a bit about Greece and about how tired we were. This flight was the longest of all the weekend's flights at about an hour and forty-five minutes-ish. By this time we just wanted to get home, you know. We got to the airport in London and David was convinced that we were going to be able to catch our 11:15 bus... It was 11:10 when we landed. Mary and I were like, there is no way we'll catch it and there is no way we're running through the airport to try to catch it. We all just walked fast and got to where the bus should have been at about 11:18. we were upset, so we went back inside to try to ask an employee if they knew anything about when the next one was. No one knew (well, we were only able to find one who wasn't helping anyone at the moment), so we just walked through the terminal following signs to where the local bus info was, hoping there'd be something about our coach there. We fortunately found the schedule, and fortunately (even more so) the next bus was only at 1, not 3 like we'd thought. So we figure that's not a bad wait. Mary's stomach wasn't feeling well, so she found some Sprite. We just hung out in the middle there for a while Chris looked at the exchange rates, or at least we thought he was. Next thing we know, we're turning around and he's nowhere to be seen. We decided that David will walk around for a few minutes to try to find him while we girls stay by the vending machine. About 5 seconds later (David's only walked about 30 feet), we see Chris turning the wrong corner away from us, and then we all catch up with him. We went out by where we need to exit for the bus (but still inside) and sat on these chairs. Chris went downstairs to the bathroom and David and the rest of us started talking about what he and Chris were talking about. It was all very interesting and got even better when Chris got back. Soon it was almost 1 so we went outside and the bus was there. We were doing fine until the bus driver got to Chris. He said his ticket said that he was to depart at 03:15, not 23.15 like ours, so he couldn't get on this bus because it was before his confirmed boarding time unless he paid £22. he's the driver, what he says goes, is basically the way he put it. We were like, "No, his ticket says 23:15, it's just creased right on the '2' so it's really faint," but he wouldn't hear it. We didn't want to pay so we decided we'd just wait 'til the next one at 3. we got off, went back inside. But David still wanted to go back and argue about it. We didn't go back until Mary had figured out that it wouldn't work if we just did it the way the driver said to because of a date and time conflict. So we went back and she was able to (thankfully) explain to him calmly how and why he was wrong. He realized he'd made a mistake and let us all on. We went towards the back. Everyone was on the right of the aisle except for me so I wasn't able to join their continuing conversation. It was all good though because I needed to catch up on journaling. I did, and eventually I started to feel nauseous, partly from writing in a moving vehicle (especially at the back of it) and partly because the strong cleaning scent wafting from the bathroom behind me was so overwhelming. I had to stop writing and just listen to music because I didn't want to have to be rushing to the bathroom if I needed to vomit. We finally got to the Oxford bus station at about 3ish, and since it's in the city centre we had a nice brisk walk of about 20 minutes back to our houses - we walked fast so that we would warm up, because it was cold!! There were SO many people out that late at night! It was so shocking. I noticed that there were plenty of those cigarette boxes with the warnings on them lying on the ground. I also saw an IRN-BRU can on the sidewalk! I was sooooo extremely excited, you don't even know. It gave me hope! Haha. Eventually we got to our road, and ended our journey with a prayer of praise. I went right to bed. Fell asleep right away.

One of the many... but this was my favorite

The most amazing thing that God taught me was how big His love is. I got to Dublin and realized how absolutely huge it was and how many people lived there, and God loves them all enough to die to possibly have a right relationship with them. Then I got to Edinburgh, which seemed even bigger, and realized the same thing. And these were only two cities out of the entire world! And if He loves them there, and there, and here, then he is everywhere and His love is everywhere, too. It brings me yet again to Psalm 139: "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me..." and I definitely felt Him with me that weekend. He's definitely opened my eyes and shown Himself to me.




That's the end... but tomorrow (a.k.a. today, since it's about 1:30 AM on Thursday right now) we go to Spain! We'll be there for two weeks. :) wish me luck.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Early September

Okay, I'm going to be honest here: I really do not feel like blogging right now. However, seeing as I'm about to be out in Ireland and Scotland in a couple days, I decided I just need to sit down and overview a few recent things before I come back and need to write about that trip. So here it goes...


I was quite pleased when the St Giles Fair came into town last week, especially since I was missing the West Texas Fair (ahh fond memories of last year...). I didn't ride anything (the only ride I wanted to ride on was 5 pounds - that's almost $10!), but I did buy some delicious fudge, rhubarb and custard candies (I had no idea what they were either; they're really good though!), and ate half of Anne's YUMMY chocolate and strawberry crepe. It was really neat seeing the contrast between the old buildings and the new fair equipment. The fair took up all of St Giles Street, which is huge, and it stopped traffic and everything. It smelled so good: you'd walk five feet and be smelling donuts (which they had a lot of... it seemed to be their version of funnel cake, hah), then you'd walk another five feet and smell meat, then another five feet and the scent of sweets would engulf you.



Last Friday our C.S. Lewis class walked down to Magdalen College and wandered around the grounds for a while. It's amazing to me how all these buildings can be so intricate. I wonder why people would have taken so much time and care just for a building. However, I do like them a LOT more than any modern building. The other day I was walking down a street with newer buildings and it just felt wrong... it didn't feel "Oxfordian." It did make me feel more like I was back home though... which was good and also not good.




Okay, so like the past two days we've been having amazing weather; meaning, in the 70s and sunny. So a group of us decided to go to the Botanic Gardens (partly because it's for a class and partly because we couldn't pass up the opportunity to be outside). At the garden, there were different little houses, each with a different type of climate and the plants that grew in that climate. I was excited to see a Venus flytrap, because I think they're cute. Also, out on the grounds, we saw J.R.R. Tolkien's favorite tree... which is kind of random (that he even had a favorite tree there) but really awesome. It was this huge old tree and quite majestic. I have a picture down below.



I have this song stuck in my head from church yesterday... at St Aldates, they seem to have this practice (at least, the two times I've been there) of getting all the children up in the front with the band to sing a song or two and perform the motions that go along with the song. So, they sang this song yesterday that went something like this: "My God is big, my God is great, my God is fab and He's my mate..." I don't remember the rest of it, but that part just keeps playing over and over in my head. I think it's really funny that they'd call God "fab," first of all, and then "mate"... I felt a little strange singing it because I don't think I've ever really thought of God that way before... I mean, He's my friend, but I wouldn't necessarily characterize Him as "fab" (whatever that means --- I associate it with phrases such as "Fab Four/Five" or other silly monickers preteen girls give their group of friends). I dunno, maybe it's just that connotation of the word that makes me feel funny about that song. I am, however, realizing that God is in control, even here. Psalm 139 (my favorite Psalm) reminds me that He never leaves, even while I'm thinking that He's not here, even while I'm having trouble finding Him, even while I keep focusing on myself. I guess it's just been a little difficult to find time and place to really get into the Word and to pray deeply like I used to. I feel like I've been disrupted. I really miss the Quiet Place - that was my favorite place to pray. Even though we do have amazing places outdoors here, such as University Parks, I sometimes just want to be completely alone, without any distractions.

Alright, so that wasn't too bad. I took 43 minutes to type/think this up. :) The next time I post it will be about Dublin/Edinburgh! Be ready! haha

peace

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

30 Days

I'm really excited now! I think finishing the majority of my portfolio has helped a bit, but also it's sinking in a bit more that I'm actually leaving. It's like an "I can see the light at the end of the tunnel" sort of thing. I still have quite a bit more things to do before I'm completely ready, but that's alright... I am greatly encouraged by the fact that I only have to work for a few more weeks (a couple days ago I was working in the fitting room the whole day and we were having this huge sale and if you have ever been in that position before, you know how I felt). I finally feel at peace with going to Oxford. Before a couple weeks ago, I still didn't know if God wanted me to go or not, which is my fault because I never asked Him in the first place. But over the last couple weeks, He has directed me to certain pieces of His word and to certain people that have led me to believe that He really does want me to go.